Pain in beauty

I walked myself to Plaza Singapura from SMU this afternoon on a 3-inch pair of heels. Oh gosh! It was a struggle for a woman who is not used to wearing them! My feet hurt now. Good that I'm back in my workstation and I can finally rest my terribly exhausted soles.

Why in the first place did I decide to wear heels today? Now that I'm nearing my graduation, I figured that I need to use the only pair of pumps that I brought to Singapore from Manila with me. After July, I do not know yet where I'll be. I am still awaiting the results of my Ph.D. applications. In the meantime, I might just have to consider finding a job in case I don't get an offer. But I do hope I would get an offer so I can live in another country. But this is not really something for me to decide so I will just wait and let the outcome determine my next destination.

Another reason for wearing heels is that I want to be more feminine. Hehehe! While showing people that I feel comfortable wearing these heels, I was deep inside complaining about the price
that you have to pay for beauty! Oh darling.

My spirit is really down today. I am slowly starting to be affected by my ex-boyfriend's recent relationship. I was not able to resist the urge to visit her FB account. I even googled her earlier today. She seems to be a nice woman. And to readily accept someone who seems to be an emotional wreck from his previous relationship is a noble thing to do. So this new girlfriend must be a wonderful person. I was thinking on my excruciating walk (this must be a hyperbole already) back from the mall to SMU that I would not be surprised if my ex would marry this girl. Oh, poor me! I would be left alone in this world. :(

So that was what I was thinking. Then I started to ask myself if I am ready to marry someone soon. Answer is it depends. I just can't imagine the difficulty of studying and rearing a child at the same time. But it is a challenge I am willing to take as long as I find the right person to marry. And I believe that there is a feeling associated to being in a relationship with the right person. I have yet to experience that feeling but I will keep on believing that there exists such a
different feeling.

Okay. That's it for now. Too much for daydreaming when I am being paid to work on my research.

With an aching heart and exhausted soles,
Diana