Almost there

It's positive thinking. I'm almost there. I am almost there. In no time, I will be there. I am there.

Toastmasters

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. - Martin Buxbaum


Got this line from the ADB Toastmasters program this lunch time. I hope I get to be one among those some people who sincerely mature and grow deeper in their spiritual lives as they age. I hope I get to develop an eye for life's essentials, without getting distracted by people or things that are not aligned to my personal development.


I finally got myself to do an impromptu speech at today's Toastmaster's session! I did not volunteer. The Table Topics Master picked me to answer his question. It was a good thing that I was taken aback as I did not have time to panic. I answered using the Point-Reason-Example-Message framework and the evaluator thought I was confident in my speaking. I personally think though that I did not give a clear exposition of the topic. I just wish that I have a wider English vocabulary and a flair in using the language.


I also had another chance to be a Language Evaluator today where I used the word of the day: Milquetoast. I resolve not to be a milquetoast and stand firmly by my actions.


I realized that I should be grateful for being a part of this institution. No amount of money can match that lifestyle that I enjoy here. I get to do yoga at most three times a day (although I have only done 2x a day at most), five times a week. I have finally made myself part of Toastmasters (though not yet official as I haven't paid yet) - a personal goal since I was in Singapore. I hope to engage myself in one more activity soon. Thank you, Lord.

A little too much (Natasha Bedingfield)

Sometimes it hits like a car crash
And it's to late to reverse
Sometimes you make me a better person
Sometimes you bring out the worst 

Sometimes we get on like fire
Sometimes we're stubborn like rain
Just when I think it's over, over
You wave a white flag again

Aaa, aaa
We fall out and we fall back in
Aaa, aaa
We're always back where we begin

Everybody hurts just a little too much
Everybody hurts but it's never enough
It's wonderful to fall
Let's love and risk it all
I'd rather love just a little too much

Sometimes we're trapped in the circle
'Til we're digging holes in the ground
We're trying, but nothing is working
But still I want you around
'Cause if I'm lost in the desert
I know somehow you'll find me
And if I drown in the oceans,

You'll be the first to rescue me...

Everybody hurts just a little too much
Everybody hurts but it's never enough
It's wonderful to fall
Let's love and risk it all 

I'd rather love just a little too much
Woooooooah, woooooooah, woooooooah, woooooooah....

Everybody hurts just a little too much
Everybody hurts but it's never enough 

Aaa, aaa
We fall out and we fall back in
Aaa, aaa
We're always back where we begin

Everybody hurts just a little too much
Everybody hurts but it's never enough
It's wonderful to fall
Let's love and risk it all 

Even if it hurts just a little too much

I'd rather love just a little too much

It's good to be back

Had my first run since the operation at the Ateneo campus at Loyola Heights this sunny afternoon. What a great feeling to be able to do some of the things that I used to do 3-4 years back. As I was running, I can't help but sport a furtive smile on my face as I passed by familiar places in the campus. I suddenly missed my old days at the Ateneo - those times when I complained but, actually, basked at hell weeks, when I dreamed of meeting my boyfriend in college (that never happened), when I rushed to submit a paper before a deadline, those benches that were witnesses to conversations with remarkable people I met in school, the church choir whose songs just made me drop a tear at times, the sun's rays resting on the green Ateneo grounds, the fire trees that looked fantastic against the blue sky...

Thank you, Lord, for bringing me back to Ateneo this Sunday afternoon. This was actually the first time that I missed  and felt for my alma mater since I came back to Manila. When I first visited the campus, I thought I had an estranged feeling that I no longer connected with the place and that I needed to move on, look for a different job. I guess I am right with that but I shouldn't lose the connection. After all, some of my formative years happened there.

And did I tell you that it feels good to be running again? Whoa! I feel great!

Funny dream (well, at least to me)

Woke up in the middle of my sleep because of the howling winds outside and I wondered how come the rain has not subsided yet. It must be flooding outside or elsewhere. Hopefully not though.

Then I recalled my dream.

I was in a mass and I was supposed to be the only lector. After the procession, just when I was seated at the side of the altar already, I noticed that the book where I'm supposed to read the readings from is missing. Come my turn to read, I told the priest I don't have the book with me and I have to look for it. I approached Tchr. Nene (my hs prefect of discipline who was there) who scolded me, and eventually gave me the book to read. When I started reading before the churchgoers, I realized that my reading didn't make sense as the book was a poor translation of some other language, and it made use of both English and Filipino. So I told the people to excuse myself as I am going to look for a better reading material.

My dream ended as I was endlessly looking for the Bible readings in the internet and the priest becoming impatient with me.

I think I know what that dream meant..

Knock knock

Ditched a high school dinner tonight, opted to watch some Thai Korean-like movie, and pined over my sad life.

I just don't feel like spreading my existence today. I'm sorry.

Good night. May your slumber be filled with colors of serenity and quietude.

Meet Hundertwasser

I learned about the Austrian designer Friedensreich Hundertwasser (his name actually means something - Peace-Kingdom Hundred-Water!) today through Bernard, my Malaysian boss, who just came back from a trip to Bavaria. He shared his photos and I specifically liked the facade of Museum Hundertwasser:

A beauty, right? The trees sprouting from the windows of the building are even called tree tenants! Hundertwasser also designed, among many others, the establishments in Bad Blumau, Austria. Here's a panorama of the place:

Bernard was not able to visit this place and now feels bad after I pointed it out to him! It is such a beauty! I have to go to Vienna and visit Bad Blumau.

Browsing through Hundertwasser's paintings reminds me of the late Pacita Abad's collection.

(Note: Photos posted here are not mine.)

A date to remember

I dated Gerald Anderson. Here's the proof!

Gerald Anderson and me at Chili's, Power Plant Mall

Well, I was just and am still dreaming. And still can't get over the euphoria that I actually SAW Gerald in person. Sui-lay, the intern who went shopping with me at Power Plant Mall, and I were seated a table away from Gerald's company. I didn't realize that a celebrity was nearby until a group of people came rushing to Gerald's table for a pic. I initially thought it was Piolo until I asked a mother who's the guy the girls have gone gaga with! When she replied it was Gerald, sounding 'you-don't-know!', Sui-lay and I immediately rushed to the next table. Take note, Sui-lay had no idea who that guy was 'coz she's not a Filipino and has been in Manila only for two months!

Good thing Sui-lay had a respectable mobile phone camera; I had this photo with Gerald. Oh my! He's just a darling! And I had the best view from my seat! And I must say I caught a few instances of him taking glances at me! Haha!

♫ If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. Honey, I'm still free; take a chance on me. ♫

humbling :(

I consulted another doctor today regarding my cyst. She found out through ultrasound that cysts are growing again in my ovaries. I just have to accept that it's a chronic condition and now, I have to beat it with medication since I just had surgery last February. This could be God's way of keeping me to the ground and this time, I have to carefully think of what the essential things in life are. And when I do recognize them with all my heart, hopefully the universe will just conspire to make these essentials come to reality. Please Lord. Help me.

Just wants to be in love

It seems that one of the reasons why I came back to Manila is not going to be realized. 

Because I just didn't feel it. And I guess the feeling is mutual. Or should I need to give it more time?

I want to be in love. I miss you again. But are we really for each other? Why can't we just be together? (But I have just hurt you too much already. And letting you go is my only way to say that I still do care for you...)

We did communicate well. We did share some memorable times together. Thank you for loving me and for teaching me to be a better person. Thank you. 

Hope you are well. And happy.

Finally, my new laptop

I finally got my new laptop which I bought in Singapore last March 12 just when my old notebook seems to give up on me already. Hmmm.. not yet please. I still have files to copy from there..