Hmmm... I hope I am not dying

I hope (and pray) I am not dying.

My weight just keeps on going down. Not that I don't like it. I really do! Finally, I am getting the figure that I want myself to have. However, this drastic and continuous drop in my weight is just unbelievable! Every time I weigh myself in the gym, I find myself weighing at least 0.2 kilos less from my previous weigh in. I really like this. But something inside tells me I have a reason to be paranoid.

Things have been going pretty well for me lately (except that I don't have a definite destination yet after July; but the thrill of that uncertainty partially excites me as well). I felt really special on my birthday. I was even able to see Ting on my birthday week; thanks to her Bangladesh trip. I have finally released myself from the bondage of an unhealthy relationship. I finally defended my thesis which my panelists thought to be publishable. I have great relationships with people around me. I seem to be enjoying life! It seems that there is no way to go but up.

Yet, I already experienced this familiar feeling before. It was a wonderful sunny afternoon at Katipunan Avenue. I wanted to take my soiled clothes to Rustan's to have them laundered. I could have easily asked my friends to accompany me but I opted to go alone. On my way to Rustan's, people seemed to be so nice to me. Then the laundry girl even recognized me and greeted me warmly. Going back to my dorm, I initially thought of walking but ended up riding the tricycle. Aboard the tricycle, my mind was filled with happy thoughts; for instance, how beautiful Katipunan is with the sunlight just warm enough to make you appreciate nature's beauty. It was like heaven on earth. And I did have that line coined in my mind that time.

Lovely, indeed, until I literally witnessed my tricycle speeding too fast that I could tell we would collide with the car that's just about to go out of the Burgundy Plaza parking lot!

And it did happen.

I remained conscious the whole time. But things happened too fast I did not even feel that I did a somersault inside the tricyle. Fortunately, that accident only left me a scar on my lower left leg. But it was one experience that brought me face-to-face with the reality of death.

That death could be imminent. That it could come to you when you least expect it.

I don't want to sound too morbid here. I just want to release my slight paranoia. I am scheduled for a minor operation this month. I have not yet made up my mind whether I should go for it. But it seems that I should. I hope things will be okay. And I will live a longer, healthy life.