A new checklist

I am not getting any younger. I am now 32. And I am truly blessed that at this age I have now a much better buying power than I was five or even just two years ago. Lately, I have been stressed with work. There have been several times that I wondered leaving the job. But I know that I also cannot just make a hasty decision. So perhaps, just perhaps, creating a list of aspirations could motivate me to work hard, and enjoy working hard, to meet my dreams.

So I will try to come up with XX points to reach within 5 years. And I can build this up with greater detail as time passes. I just need to list them down now.

1. A set of diamond earrings and necklace
2. Chanel handbag
3. A classic handbag for daily use (usually for work)
4. A wallet to match that handbag
5. Good suit for doing high-level presentations
6. Quality dresses for client meetings
7. Downpayment for our family home (hmm wherever that is)
8. Lasik surgery for both eyes
9. Back to yoga (not really sure if I want to be a yogini)
10. Complete a full marathon
11. Travel around Europe (Italy) with Rene alone
12. Buy an iPhone
13. Resume doing artworks (maybe this time do water color)
14. Start investing more actively (stocks, ETF, bonds)
15. A set of pearl earrings and necklace
16. Holiday in Maldives
17. A good pair of jeans
18. A signature dish
19. Start paying for our vacation house
20. A decent, dependable shoe collection
21. Go on a holiday with Papa and another with Mama

Now I am starting to have a difficult time filling up at least 20 so I will stop here. I am now beyond 30 but still find this list (link below) a bit helpful.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ada-polla/things-to-have-by-30_b_4746640.html

32nd birthday

I turned 32 last Wednesday, 10 June. I celebrated a big portion of my birthday at the office, where I reported at 6am, and praying and working so hard to meet a deadline (while trying to sneak some time to read birthday greetings on FB and my phone). I was finally able to go home at 9pm where my family greeted me with warm hugs, laughter and giggling over dinner, a birthday card, flowers, and the customary candle-blowing with Umi. Simple and heartwarming, just the way I wanted to celebrate that day.

I was also very blessed to be given an opportunity to travel to the US for a special engagement a week before my birthday. I look back at myself during grad school days and see someone intensely motivated to study economics, partly for this very reason that I was brought to the US last week. Many things have happened though, I have been exposed to various opportunities that I slowly forgot about that big dream of mine. But the Lord does surprise you in ways unimaginable. So there I was, flown almost 10,000 miles away from Singapore, to face an old dream. 

That trip was also my personal, me time. I am lucky to have a partner who broached the idea to use this trip to spend time with myself, even if it meant he will be left with the incessant and sometimes, consuming demands of raising a family. The trip still did not come easy though. I had to leave Rene with Umi and Pax who were both ill. Perhaps, I tried to ease the guilt that I was feeling by regularly expressing breastmilk on the plane. But doing it on a 20-hour flight eventually drained me emotionally, I felt like a cow being constrained to move within a tiny space for what seemed like eternity. And there was the increasing anxiety, thinking about how I would be able to prepare for my appointment amid the jetlag. Frustrated and stressed, I was terribly close to breaking down two hours before landing in New York. I started to question why on earth would they fly someone just for a 50-minute interaction? Don’t they know that there is such a thing called Skype? I was very ungrateful.

But that trip allowed me to reconnect with an old self. Wandering the streets of DC and Manhattan, I felt young and carefree again. ‘When was the last time I had this feeling? Looks like when I was still in school. Hay, the joy of studying and the luxury of a flexible schedule, so that you can explore museums or watch a movie even during office hours.’ I walked and walked, shivered from the cold, took countless selfies, marveled at places and structures I only used to see in pictures or movies, interacted with strangers, and at some point caught up with old pals. I was alone for most of the time, yet free. And young again. This is me. Where have you been all these years?

And allowing myself to make mistakes was liberating. I forgave myself for failing to schedule my itinerary properly in DC that I was not able to fully utilize my hop-on-hop-off bus ticket and visit all the museums I wanted. It is okay, it’s not everyday that I get this time with myself anyway, which I used to shop for Christmas presents at Macy’s in DC and enjoy lunch from a food truck! And I got to explore the sleepy city’s neighborhood on foot.

In Manhattan, I forced a visit to the Central Park despite a very tight schedule. I knew I only had 30 minutes to explore so I rented a bike and decided to take the shorter route around the park. But I got lost and so the whole trip took me 45 minutes. When I arrived at my hotel after walking from the 57^th to 45^th streets along Fifth Avenue, my cab to the airport had already left. It was 4:30pm on a Friday, so imagine the challenge of finding a cab amid people eager to relax after a week's work. The hotel staff found one for me finally, a black cab. I knew it would be more costly, but to end up paying 300% more (and again in USD) was heartbreaking! My heart is still breaking, but no longer as much as the moment I got the bill. What the heck, it is not everyday that I get to go to New York. And I am still fortunate to have made it to my flight back to Singapore. I will just have to refrain from eating out for a couple of weeks so I can recover that amount. J

So here are my photos in New York and Washington, DC.

The White House

My idea of visiting the US is enjoying food from a truck and shopping 

9/11 Memorial, an eerie and heart-rending experience

Catching up with a college friend in NYC...

...and a high school classmate who also used my breastmilk for her 10-month-old daughter

The views atop the Rockefeller Center

this one's overlooking Central Park

Now with the lights gradually turning on

Inside the Grand Central Termnal

Times Square

The pretty artworks sold along NYC's sidewalks

It felt like following Monet's water lily series from Musee de l'Orangerie in Paris to MOMA in NYC

Finally, van Gogh's Starry Night at MOMA

Biking around Central Park, already felt uneasy here as I knew I was running late

Bye, Central Park

Noting this down

I am featuring this article here so that I can revisit this anytime I want to. I see that it has important points to remind parents as years go by...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelley-emling/things-empty-nesters-want-parents-of-little-kids-to-know_b_6526292.html

11 Things Empty Nesters Want Parents Of Little Kids To Know

As of this week, I'm the mother of a 20-year-old. This is also the week when my oldest heads off to Amsterdam, where he'll attend a new (very small) university. After a year at a very large university in Boston, he decided theater-style lecture halls packed with hundreds of students weren't for him.

Just as I did when he went off to college the first time, I find myself trying to conjure up memories of my son's first steps, first words, how hard he laughed that time I fell out of the kayak, how he played the "Toy Story" soundtrack incessantly on the piano to unwind, and how he alone never failed to ask me about my day when I walked in the door from work.

The sad reality is -- it's all a bit fuzzy.

As I've often said, you think you'll remember every key moment of your kids' lives -- but you won't. Oddly enough, I can recall the theme song to "Gilligan's Island" but I find it nearly impossible to draw out of cold storage a memory of my oldest kid's first bike ride. Didn't he used to hate eggs? I don't know. I really can't remember.

And that's why I've decided to put forth a bit of advice from parents who've already raised their kids to those who are still in the trenches. The first piece of advice is mine (I have three kids) and the rest is from good friends with grown children. Have anything to add? Please do so in comments.

1. In addition to marking down your child's first words, record the first conversations you had with them about whether or not there's a Santa Claus -- or a God.
Often we're so busy obsessively recording every milestone during our child's baby and toddler years that we forget to take video of a typical family dinner, with everyone doing nothing but laughing -- or arguing. Think you will remember what your kid's bedroom looked like when they were SEVEN? You might. I don't. Believe me when I say this: These every day moments are really what you will want to remember after your kids fly the coop.

2. The older the children get, the more you realize how precious the time is. 
"When they are little you feel they will be that way forever! Therefore, take as many family vacations together as possible. They make lasting memories of real quality time spent together. Once they go to college and have their own responsibilities, it just gets more complicated." -- S.W.

3. Get to know their friends. 
"Encourage them to have their friends to your house. You learn more about your kids from whom they befriend than anything else. Be non-judgmental and open to discussion about anything so when they are away they won't feel like anything is off limits to discuss with you if they need to." -- L.S.

4. Have family dinners often and make them a priority. 
"The dinner table is a place for sharing all that's important with unconditional love, respect and openness to discussing ideas. Make it a safe place to be heard and not judged." -- J.C.

5. At the end of every year, sit down with your child and write down their memories of the past 12 months. 
"When they turn 18, get those pieces of paper out and look back on all that's happened." -- K.P.

6. Go to every play, sporting event, or awards assembly you possibly can. 
"You never want to be that parent who had to work and, therefore, just couldn't be there for your child." -- A.G.

7. Listen from the front seat when they sit in the back."Don't comment. You will learn more about their daily lives when you are chauffeuring them back and forth to activities than you can imagine." -- A.T.

8. If your kid tells you a secret, and asks you not to tell anyone, don't.
"If you tell your girlfriends, it will get back to them. It really will." -- K.L.

9. Unplug when you're with your kids."When your kid talks to you, PLEASE turn off the cell phone and the computer. You can check email after they go to bed." -- E.K.

10. Help your kids figure out their strengths and interests."Try to help your child discover things they are truly passionate about, and then nurture those interests." -- S.W.

11. Be affectionate -- always."When your child hugs you, never be the first one to let go." -- M.M.