Heaven & eggs...and anything in between: June 2015

I turned 32 last Wednesday, 10 June. I celebrated a big portion of my birthday at the office, where I reported at 6am, and praying and working so hard to meet a deadline (while trying to sneak some time to read birthday greetings on FB and my phone). I was finally able to go home at 9pm where my family greeted me with warm hugs, laughter and giggling over dinner, a birthday card, flowers, and the customary candle-blowing with Umi. Simple and heartwarming, just the way I wanted to celebrate that day.

I was also very blessed to be given an opportunity to travel to the US for a special engagement a week before my birthday. I look back at myself during grad school days and see someone intensely motivated to study economics, partly for this very reason that I was brought to the US last week. Many things have happened though, I have been exposed to various opportunities that I slowly forgot about that big dream of mine. But the Lord does surprise you in ways unimaginable. So there I was, flown almost 10,000 miles away from Singapore, to face an old dream.

That trip was also my personal, me time. I am lucky to have a partner who broached the idea to use this trip to spend time with myself, even if it meant he will be left with the incessant and sometimes, consuming demands of raising a family. The trip still did not come easy though. I had to leave Rene with Umi and Pax who were both ill. Perhaps, I tried to ease the guilt that I was feeling by regularly expressing breastmilk on the plane. But doing it on a 20-hour flight eventually drained me emotionally, I felt like a cow being constrained to move within a tiny space for what seemed like eternity. And there was the increasing anxiety, thinking about how I would be able to prepare for my appointment amid the jetlag. Frustrated and stressed, I was terribly close to breaking down two hours before landing in New York. I started to question why on earth would they fly someone just for a 50-minute interaction? Don’t they know that there is such a thing called Skype? I was very ungrateful.

But that trip allowed me to reconnect with an old self. Wandering the streets of DC and Manhattan, I felt young and carefree again. ‘When was the last time I had this feeling? Looks like when I was still in school. Hay, the joy of studying and the luxury of a flexible schedule, so that you can explore museums or watch a movie even during office hours.’ I walked and walked, shivered from the cold, took countless selfies, marveled at places and structures I only used to see in pictures or movies, interacted with strangers, and at some point caught up with old pals. I was alone for most of the time, yet free. And young again. This is me. Where have you been all these years?

And allowing myself to make mistakes was liberating. I forgave myself for failing to schedule my itinerary properly in DC that I was not able to fully utilize my hop-on-hop-off bus ticket and visit all the museums I wanted. It is okay, it’s not everyday that I get this time with myself anyway, which I used to shop for Christmas presents at Macy’s in DC and enjoy lunch from a food truck! And I got to explore the sleepy city’s neighborhood on foot.

In Manhattan, I forced a visit to the Central Park despite a very tight schedule. I knew I only had 30 minutes to explore so I rented a bike and decided to take the shorter route around the park. But I got lost and so the whole trip took me 45 minutes. When I arrived at my hotel after walking from the 57^th to 45^th streets along Fifth Avenue, my cab to the airport had already left. It was 4:30pm on a Friday, so imagine the challenge of finding a cab amid people eager to relax after a week's work. The hotel staff found one for me finally, a black cab. I knew it would be more costly, but to end up paying 300% more (and again in USD) was heartbreaking! My heart is still breaking, but no longer as much as the moment I got the bill. What the heck, it is not everyday that I get to go to New York. And I am still fortunate to have made it to my flight back to Singapore. I will just have to refrain from eating out for a couple of weeks so I can recover that amount. J

So here are my photos in New York and Washington, DC.