I got the job that I mentioned in my previous entry. I like the environment - the type of work, the building, the people, the facilities, the food! Thank you, Lord!
I wanted to write these down. These are some memorable lines I gathered during the first quarter of 2011. Some of these lines still make me laugh today. :)
1. On complaining about the salary from her recent promotion, her husband remarked:
Choosy ka pa! Hindi ka naman UP!
2. Sister, hwag na tayo mag-away. Tutubo din yan[g buhok mo] in two weeks. (As relayed by a gay hair stylist to his client.)
3. Playing charades:
To guess: Roast turkey
a. Taya: Manok ba ito?
Mga tao: Pwede! Mas sosyal sa manok!
Taya: Fried chicken?
Taya: Microwave chicken?
Taya: Estofado??????
To guess: Buddha
b. Taya: Filipino ba ito?
Mga tao: Hindi
Taya: Ah! So American?
4. How much copy-pasting can one get???? (As relayed by the boss to his intern.)
5. Boss: I don't reply to stupid emails.
Intern: (To herself: Gosh, that's why you didn't reply to my mails?!)
6. Trying hard subordinate: So you speak French?
Boss: Vous parlais francais?
Trying hard subordinate: un poco
Boss: That's Spanish!
Oh shit! Too much for trying hard!
7. Person 1: Uy, skydiving tayo sa Clark!
Person 2: Sige! Pero baka masira ang ilong ko! Malaking investment ito.
8. Don't you know that your office building, since it has everything in it, is actually a spaceship that will just one day take off when there's serious trouble in Manila????
9. No offense ma'am, but your YM ID is a borderline between gross and pervert.
These are all I can remember for now. :)
cheers,
diane
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
A plea
Lord, you have blessed me well since I completed my degree at SMU; not that I am saying that finishing my studies in Singapore is not a blessing in itself for I believe couldn't have done it with You. What I meant is you have taken me to personally unchartered paths after my studies - internship at JP, a closure with Ivan, newfound friends, a successful operation and quite a speedy recovery, a supportive family, friends and P@W community, good health among loved ones, and more, more, more..
Lord, I know you have opened another door for me. But I'm getting worried. I know I shouldn't. I am sorry for being impatient (and for counting the eggs while they aren't hatched). Let this be mine, Father. And help me find my passion in this.
Sincerely,
Jen
Lord, I know you have opened another door for me. But I'm getting worried. I know I shouldn't. I am sorry for being impatient (and for counting the eggs while they aren't hatched). Let this be mine, Father. And help me find my passion in this.
Sincerely,
Jen
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Some relationship realizations (on a Sunday)
I have noticed that I am the type of person who has a list of things to do on her mind.
I never run out of things to do. I read from an article (I can no longer remember the source) that this is a manifestation of a person's insecurity, my insecurity. According to that article, keeping yourself busy provides the feeling that you are an important person.
Hmmm... While I may be guilty of that, my never-ending list of things to do is really rooted beyond those insecurity issues. This is another topic.
So on a Sunday, I find myself having planned to do many things. And I realized that whenever I have a boyfriend, I guess it is important that we at least share common beliefs and activities so we can multiple task. And for him not to end up complaining that I do not have time for him.
If my bf and I go to the same church, then this is one activity on a Sunday that we can do together.
If he is also that type of person who is dynamic, I wouldn't feel guilty that I do not have time for him on a Sunday because I see him doing things he has to do on Sunday.
If we are involved in studies together, we can study together on a weekend. That is also one bonding session.
If he likes to read books and open to read the books that I read, then we can spend some time reading together. That would be sweet.
And so I have realized that, at least for me, it is important that my partner and I share similar priorities in life. If we just enjoy eating, shopping and traveling together, then I might have to think twice whether we are for each other 'coz these things do not necessarily always happen on weekends. (And I'm just not that type of person.) I will have to examine our current day-to-day activities and observe how we bond with each other.
I never run out of things to do. I read from an article (I can no longer remember the source) that this is a manifestation of a person's insecurity, my insecurity. According to that article, keeping yourself busy provides the feeling that you are an important person.
Hmmm... While I may be guilty of that, my never-ending list of things to do is really rooted beyond those insecurity issues. This is another topic.
So on a Sunday, I find myself having planned to do many things. And I realized that whenever I have a boyfriend, I guess it is important that we at least share common beliefs and activities so we can multiple task. And for him not to end up complaining that I do not have time for him.
If my bf and I go to the same church, then this is one activity on a Sunday that we can do together.
If he is also that type of person who is dynamic, I wouldn't feel guilty that I do not have time for him on a Sunday because I see him doing things he has to do on Sunday.
If we are involved in studies together, we can study together on a weekend. That is also one bonding session.
If he likes to read books and open to read the books that I read, then we can spend some time reading together. That would be sweet.
And so I have realized that, at least for me, it is important that my partner and I share similar priorities in life. If we just enjoy eating, shopping and traveling together, then I might have to think twice whether we are for each other 'coz these things do not necessarily always happen on weekends. (And I'm just not that type of person.) I will have to examine our current day-to-day activities and observe how we bond with each other.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Ouch!
One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God.
Paulo Coehlo, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
Paulo Coehlo, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
Thursday, October 07, 2010
How have I been?
I have been quite busy these days though I don't really mind.
September 15 was my first day as an intern in this investment bank. I work long hours, around 12 hours. In the first two days, I was asking myself, "what did I sign up for?" Later on, I have come to recognize that I have a lot to learn in terms of being an economist in real time while working here and also in terms of relating to people.
So I have committed myself to learn as much as I can while I am here.
Downside of working: I spend most of my day sitting (drinking tea and/or coffee). I'm getting fatter. I really need to exercise. And I do! I run thrice a week in the evenings. Still, it is not enough. I need to cut down on my food intake.
Saturdays are spent with LISS sessions. Before coming back to Singapore, I have committed myself to serve at LISS as a form of thanksgiving (and to keep myself busy during weekends).
Sometimes, I get lonely. I wish I have someone to embrace with. But then again, I can't afford a boyfriend now. I don't have the time.
That's it for now. Oh, I want to be an Economist for an IB just like the one I am with now. But maybe I still want to pursue a Ph.D. in the US. Let's see where this road will take me.
September 15 was my first day as an intern in this investment bank. I work long hours, around 12 hours. In the first two days, I was asking myself, "what did I sign up for?" Later on, I have come to recognize that I have a lot to learn in terms of being an economist in real time while working here and also in terms of relating to people.
So I have committed myself to learn as much as I can while I am here.
Downside of working: I spend most of my day sitting (drinking tea and/or coffee). I'm getting fatter. I really need to exercise. And I do! I run thrice a week in the evenings. Still, it is not enough. I need to cut down on my food intake.
Saturdays are spent with LISS sessions. Before coming back to Singapore, I have committed myself to serve at LISS as a form of thanksgiving (and to keep myself busy during weekends).
Sometimes, I get lonely. I wish I have someone to embrace with. But then again, I can't afford a boyfriend now. I don't have the time.
That's it for now. Oh, I want to be an Economist for an IB just like the one I am with now. But maybe I still want to pursue a Ph.D. in the US. Let's see where this road will take me.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Some resolutions
Maybe I need to stand firmly by my resolutions when I get back to Singapore.
Tomorrow, I will be back in Sg.
Back to life that I quite tried to run away from but, despite the choices, my gut feel told me to return. Or is it the gut feel?
Whatever it is, I will try to live the remaining months of the year to the fullest! I will live life happy.
And I need to exercise. Seriously. Three weeks later and 10 pounds heavier? Let's see when I stand on the weighing scale tomorrow if I got an accurate prediction of my weight gain. :P
Things to look forward to:
1. Life in the corporate. Thank you, Lord, for this blessing.
2. Presentation in Manila in October.
3. More blessings to come. And some bouts of loneliness I'd better prepare myself with.
4. secret :P
xoxo,
Diane
Tomorrow, I will be back in Sg.
Back to life that I quite tried to run away from but, despite the choices, my gut feel told me to return. Or is it the gut feel?
Whatever it is, I will try to live the remaining months of the year to the fullest! I will live life happy.
And I need to exercise. Seriously. Three weeks later and 10 pounds heavier? Let's see when I stand on the weighing scale tomorrow if I got an accurate prediction of my weight gain. :P
Things to look forward to:
1. Life in the corporate. Thank you, Lord, for this blessing.
2. Presentation in Manila in October.
3. More blessings to come. And some bouts of loneliness I'd better prepare myself with.
4. secret :P
xoxo,
Diane
The box
September 6, 2010 (past 11 pm)
There’s a box that sits in the bottom of the two-layered desk to my left. When I first saw it as I entered my room here in Santa Fe, I tried to refrain from opening it. That box carries a lot of memories in it but memories are simply events that are no longer with you in the present. I just didn’t want to intentionally bruise myself.
More specifically, it is a vessel of beautiful memories I had while I was in Manila two to five years ago. It contains letters, simple notes, cards and other memorabilia from people who simply appreciated my presence at a particular point in their lives. I must also say that they have touched my life more than they will ever know.
Tonight is my last night in Santa Fe. I have already packed my things and I initially thought of reading Gujarati’s econometrics textbook tonight. However, just as I was about to start reading it, I noticed the box. (It always happens; I usually get distracted when I start to do serious work. :P)
I opened the box; ran my fingers through the pile of cards, letters and ribbons. I was looking for something that was buried underneath the pile. I saw a colorful envelope that is really a bubble wrap. I can remember it containing a CD from Rene. He took a video of himself to greet me on my 23rd birthday while he was on his first year of Ph.D. in Hiroshima.
I was surprised to see a letter, aside from the CD, inside the envelope. I must have read it when I received the package but I could no longer remember the content of the letter.
I read it. He talked about the mystic of the sakura, how it resembled the beauty, tragedy and the hope that I brought into his life.
I continued reading it. He talked about chasing his dreams in Japan:
I have come so far to learn of new things, to better myself, to chase my dreams. Yet deep inside, I know that all I gain, at best, shall be mere trappings of a better shell, a frame so to speak. New layers of knowledge may be added, a wiser perspective of the world perhaps. Trappings of life may be earned. Yet, the heart, the core shall remain unchanged.
I never really fully understood what he meant by learning and improving himself until I had the chance to study in Singapore. In fact, it was only in my second year when I really came into terms with myself and that I could say I did change for the better. I have a proof for that. Ting, my really good friend, told me while we were in the restroom at Marco Polo in Cebu around two weeks ago, that I have grown up.
I was brought into tears while reading the letter. Why? Because it is a letter that talked about chasing his dreams, and my dreams as well. I will never deny that my dreams of studying abroad, of eventually taking a Ph.D., of exploring different cultures, of making new friends of different nationalities, were formed while we were still together. Rene served as my guide that time and our relationship was my inspiration to achieve my dreams.
But I was too young to commit myself into a relationship. I admit that there was a significant portion of my being that wanted to explore, to take risks by myself. And so, months before he left for Japan, we eventually broke up.
“Maybe we need to explore, Diane.” I can remember him telling me that while we were in this place where the Manila Ocean Park now stands. It was the night before he left for Hiroshima.
And we did explore. On his second year of studies in Japan, I won a 2-year scholarship at a university in Singapore. Before I left for Singapore, he wrote me a letter to inform me that he had found a new girlfriend and I happened to closely guess her name. Of course, I cried; I sobbed. I finally lost him just when we were about to live our dreams. Shortly after, I found myself a boyfriend in Manila who eventually followed me to Singapore.
Those two years must have passed like a blink of an eye. I have finished my studies in Singapore and so has Rene finally earned his Ph.D. Some relationships started and ended; personal changes in one’s being transpired. There were times when I was tempted to reach out to him, to ask him if I still have a place in his heart after all these years, after all that he went through with me.
But I just couldn’t do it. Not now, when we are still both weary about our future. I do not want to mistake my move as me being needy and lonely. And not when, more than the physical distance, several significant personal experiences now separate us. We have already changed. I have already changed. And I do not know if I will still be the person he will choose to love just like five years ago.
So I will just continue to wait until the universe will bring us back together again. In the meantime, I will continue to better myself so that I will be more than prepared to love him when the right time comes.
There’s a box that sits in the bottom of the two-layered desk to my left. When I first saw it as I entered my room here in Santa Fe, I tried to refrain from opening it. That box carries a lot of memories in it but memories are simply events that are no longer with you in the present. I just didn’t want to intentionally bruise myself.
More specifically, it is a vessel of beautiful memories I had while I was in Manila two to five years ago. It contains letters, simple notes, cards and other memorabilia from people who simply appreciated my presence at a particular point in their lives. I must also say that they have touched my life more than they will ever know.
Tonight is my last night in Santa Fe. I have already packed my things and I initially thought of reading Gujarati’s econometrics textbook tonight. However, just as I was about to start reading it, I noticed the box. (It always happens; I usually get distracted when I start to do serious work. :P)
I opened the box; ran my fingers through the pile of cards, letters and ribbons. I was looking for something that was buried underneath the pile. I saw a colorful envelope that is really a bubble wrap. I can remember it containing a CD from Rene. He took a video of himself to greet me on my 23rd birthday while he was on his first year of Ph.D. in Hiroshima.
I was surprised to see a letter, aside from the CD, inside the envelope. I must have read it when I received the package but I could no longer remember the content of the letter.
I read it. He talked about the mystic of the sakura, how it resembled the beauty, tragedy and the hope that I brought into his life.
I continued reading it. He talked about chasing his dreams in Japan:
I have come so far to learn of new things, to better myself, to chase my dreams. Yet deep inside, I know that all I gain, at best, shall be mere trappings of a better shell, a frame so to speak. New layers of knowledge may be added, a wiser perspective of the world perhaps. Trappings of life may be earned. Yet, the heart, the core shall remain unchanged.
I never really fully understood what he meant by learning and improving himself until I had the chance to study in Singapore. In fact, it was only in my second year when I really came into terms with myself and that I could say I did change for the better. I have a proof for that. Ting, my really good friend, told me while we were in the restroom at Marco Polo in Cebu around two weeks ago, that I have grown up.
I was brought into tears while reading the letter. Why? Because it is a letter that talked about chasing his dreams, and my dreams as well. I will never deny that my dreams of studying abroad, of eventually taking a Ph.D., of exploring different cultures, of making new friends of different nationalities, were formed while we were still together. Rene served as my guide that time and our relationship was my inspiration to achieve my dreams.
But I was too young to commit myself into a relationship. I admit that there was a significant portion of my being that wanted to explore, to take risks by myself. And so, months before he left for Japan, we eventually broke up.
“Maybe we need to explore, Diane.” I can remember him telling me that while we were in this place where the Manila Ocean Park now stands. It was the night before he left for Hiroshima.
And we did explore. On his second year of studies in Japan, I won a 2-year scholarship at a university in Singapore. Before I left for Singapore, he wrote me a letter to inform me that he had found a new girlfriend and I happened to closely guess her name. Of course, I cried; I sobbed. I finally lost him just when we were about to live our dreams. Shortly after, I found myself a boyfriend in Manila who eventually followed me to Singapore.
Those two years must have passed like a blink of an eye. I have finished my studies in Singapore and so has Rene finally earned his Ph.D. Some relationships started and ended; personal changes in one’s being transpired. There were times when I was tempted to reach out to him, to ask him if I still have a place in his heart after all these years, after all that he went through with me.
But I just couldn’t do it. Not now, when we are still both weary about our future. I do not want to mistake my move as me being needy and lonely. And not when, more than the physical distance, several significant personal experiences now separate us. We have already changed. I have already changed. And I do not know if I will still be the person he will choose to love just like five years ago.
So I will just continue to wait until the universe will bring us back together again. In the meantime, I will continue to better myself so that I will be more than prepared to love him when the right time comes.
Before he ended his letter, he shared to me a beautiful story about the Kanji character for “hito” (person, in English). It consists of two strokes, i.e.:
It is said that a person is represented as such because one cannot stand alone, as in:
One is bound to fall down, hard. One needs the support of another,
, in order to exist meaningfully. That is the essence of being a person, being dependent on and supportive of others at the same time.
One is bound to fall down, hard. One needs the support of another,
, I had long fancied myself as an independent person. But as years passed, I have come to know the essence of a human being. I have to learn to open up, to offer myself, to surrender myself to another. I have started with baby steps…
I folded the letter, returned it to the enveloped that kept it, and placed the envelope back inside the box. Now, the box just looks like the way it was when I first saw it weeks ago.
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