How this childbearing experience has changed me...

Nine changes this childbearing experience has brought me..

1. I never thought that I could survive the day without coffee. And actually replace coffee with 2 glasses of milk a day.

2. I have surprisingly become kinder and more patient. I didn't know what hit me but I have become less demanding and tolerant when I hit the second month of pregnancy.

3. Pregnancy has calmed me down. I am surprised that I am able to do the same things now, without much of the adrenaline rush, and heart-pumping intensity I used to have whenever I am asked to do something, like to present before a superior, or whenever I hit a stumbling block in my research or current activity. I am now more pleased with myself that I can deliver things with composure and calmness. Well, part of this calmness could be due to the fact that I cannot afford to be stressed now and pass on the cortisol to my baby.

4. I have become more grateful of the blessings that come my way. Even if one night, I just teased R that he brought me an atis instead of a guyabano that was actually a guyabano, only much smaller than what I used to know. And I am truly grateful for the flowers and the breakfasts. =)

5. I have greater sympathy towards other mothers and children now. And I look up to those mothers who gave up their careers just to raise their children full-time. And sometimes, how I envy mothers who can afford to give up their jobs to be full-time moms. Not that I am considering, though, but that time might come in the future.

6. The thought of a family has made me more excited on how I spend my after-work evenings. Before, I didn't have a problem working overtime because I didn't have anything to do when I get home. And to me, "family time" or the thought of settling down is no longer equated to boredom and restlessness.

7. Though I still need more practice in this, I have become more careful in planning things. I no longer easily accept engagements without calculating ahead of time how I can find the time to deliver them. Before, I used to believe that nature will just help me - even if I would have to take sleepless nights - to finish something as promised or agreed. Now, I have to respect what my body wants me to do. If I need sleep, I have to sleep. This also means that I cannot just waste what free time I have on useless things. I have to carefully choose the ones that are my priorities now.

8. I now have a greater urge to speak up my thoughts. I owe it to my children to be more expressive of my thoughts. 

9. There is greater fear in me now for my loved ones. And thus, all the more reason for me to pray for the uncertain. What's important is we learn to surrender even our fears to Him above.

When Umi comes out, I know I will change some more. I am hoping these changes will make me a better woman. In the meantime, this pregnancy experience has been wonderful. I have been blessed with the people around me, especially R. I would love to be pregnant again. Haha! But there are just other priorities now that have to take over.

But, seriously, bearing a child is one glorious and humbling experience. Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity.