On growing up

Tonight, I felt what I think most grownups feel.

I became scared of the thought of suddenly losing my job - the only source of my income.

My liabilities are growing. I shelled out serious money as deposit for my flat. I have released postdated cheques to the company that owns my flat. And just today, I spent almost the same amount as my deposit to buy a bed, an electric stove, an iron and ironing board, tables and chairs, kitchen utensils, electric fan, rice cooker, and what else. The list is growing. And I am weakening with the thought that my savings account is being depleted.

What if I suddenly lose my job? What will happen to me? It's really scary.

This is the first time that I have committed myself to something that involves serious money. So is this what growing up is all about?

Let me just say that

I'm so tired. :(

Chill Monday

Today, I discovered another feeling that have been dormant in me for quite some time now.

It is true that once you start letting go of your competitiveness, things just get lighter. And it's easier to smile huh!

But I still have to learn how to deal with bossy people. Haha!

Thank you =)

Lord, thank you, for this weekend.

For once, I did not find myself wandering around Manila on a weekend. Certainly, chill music helped. And hot chocolate on a rainy day. =)

Thank you, Father.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" -Philippians 4:6-7

A home

Thing with living in the city is that boredom can be maddening . If I were in the province, I would have just accepted this boredom as another ordinary day, watching raindrops touch the corn field opposite my house and amused with kids playing paper boats in the canal beside the road.

I long for a homey, cozy place to stay here in Manila that is near my workplace; a place where I can just watch the raindrops from my veranda, as I drink coffee and take on my readings.

How can it ever happen?

It is in obedience to God’s will that we will discover the fullness of life and be satisfied in all things.

I have to write this to remind myself every now and then.

And to get reminded that happiness is not in the end goal itself but in the process of achieving that goal. And to listening to His will for me. And you.

Last night, I met a friend. And after years of laboring to finally get into the industry where she is now and having achieved the things that she heavily dreamed about five years ago, with a toughened and cold character, she says, "I'm not happy with where I am now." Surprising.

I do wish her all the best and will definitely include her in prayer. I wish all my friends find joy in life, wherever they are and whatever they do and no matter how much they earn.